McDermott, Mark :: Mom

Mom October 2004

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Artwork Details

Title:	Mom October 2004
Artist:	None Specified
Media Type:	Photograph
Art Type:	Photograph
For Sale Status:
Views:	431
Likes on CAF:	0 1
Comments:	3
Added to Site:	3/13/2018
Comic Art Archive:

Description

My Mom waited until she was 40 to get married to my Dad who was 25 at the time. She had my sister (Melody) first and I was born when my Mom was 42. She was 50 when I was 8 and thus she was a hybrid (grandma/mom) all-in-one. I was born in western Massachusetts. I remember nature so much as a child.

Our house sat on the edge of a thick woods. The Berkshires in autumn were magical. The winters brought snow falls of 24-36 inches at times and seemed to drag on until mid-April. I always felt free when running through that forest with my German Shepherd.

Both my parents worked. My Dad would go out drinking with his friends every Friday night of my childhood. He would come home at about 2:30-2:45am Saturday morning and my sister and I would awake as he entered the house and walked across the hard wood floors of our living room in his dress shoes. I would pray that he would not come and wake my sister and I up. And the prayers would always go unanswered.

I was maybe 5 or 6 when this happened the first time. He was a bad drunk. As I type this, I remember it as if it happened moments ago. He would want me to eat a piece of cold pizza and then to take a swig of beer. I said; �But, I don�t want to.� And that was my first mistake. He would strike me. He would become more irrational the longer we would sit prisoners at the kitchen table and eventually my Mom would wake up and come out trying to get him to go to bed and he would strike her. Maybe 3 hours later, he would finally leave us to make our way back to bed. It was a war that lasted about 7 years or until I was about 12.

I remember the first day of elementary school. I was six years old and it was just my Mom and I as she drove up to the front of Cold Spring Elementary School. We got out of the car and entered through the front entrance. She brought me into the cafeteria which was located along the left wall upon entering the auditorium. There were many kids already sitting at long tables throughout the cafeteria. They all seemed to know each other as they were talking and laughing. She brought me to one of the tables and she kissed me goodbye. The only thing I could say was; �Mom, don�t leave me.� She smiled and said; �Honey, everything will be fine� and waved goodbye. I just remember feeling isolated, like my Mom was abandoning me.

It was not my father, but rather my mom that came to all my basketball and baseball games. She was a working mom, but she still always took the time to be in the crowd.
It means more to me now as I reflect.

My father almost killed me the day after my 19th birthday. I was in intensive care and eventually recovered. I went to the University of Massachusetts for chemical engineering
(even though I was naturally gifted at photography and other creative aspirations) and 4 years later I accepted the offer from Eastman Kodak in upstate New York.

One night my Mom left a message for me at Kodak telling me that her and my father were in a minor car accident and to call. Turns out the accident occurred two weeks earlier. She said that she checked him into the hospital the prior day and that I should come home that weekend to say hi. I left a note with my secretary to let everyone know I was taking a vacation as there was sickness in the family and I would see them all on Monday.

The drive back to Massachusetts was 330 miles and I got off the exit a little after 2pm (about 5 hours since I told my Mom I would be home). I thought, �Let me try Ludlow Hospital� as it was right off the Mass Pike exit that I would use to take back roads to get to the very small town I grew up in. I walked into the ICU area and noticed several nurses playing cards at 2:20pm. There was a bell on the long front desk, but I did not choose to ring it. I thought somebody would eventually see me. A nurse a few years younger than me eventually noticed me waiting. She came out and asked; �How can I help you?� I said; �I�m looking for a John McDermott. I am his son Mark McDermott and I am not sure if he is at this hospital.�

She turned to read the names of the patients on the wall charts behind her and without turning to address me, she said; �Well, we don�t have a John McDermott here.� I thanked her and started walking down the hallway toward the exit. A second older nurse heard the conversation and came out from the back room and started talking with me as I was still walking away. �Oh, we did have your father here. We were doing a lot of testing but really couldn�t figure out what was wrong, so we eventually told him we were going to transfer him to Bay State in Springfield and just when we told him this, his heart, his kidneys, his liver and lungs all stopped. Everything shut down. You just missed him - he died about 20 minutes ago�.�

I think I said; �What?� Even though I heard her the first time, she repeated herself. I said; �Does my Mom know?� She said matter-of-fact; �Oh yes, we called her already.� I said; �Am I supposed to stay

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About the Owner

	MARK McDERMOTT
Joined:	February 2005
Last Login:	September 2025
Ebay Id:	journey2
Website:	https://www.earthshinestudios.com
Country:	UNITED STATES
On CAF:	MARK's Want List Artworks Commented On Liked Art Site Activity on CAF

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Comments on this Artwork

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Nick Katradis
Member Since 2005

Posted on 3/14/2018

Wow, Mark, incredible heart-wrenching story.

Michael Kenyon
Member Since 2008

Posted on 1/28/2024

Just lost my wonderful step dad. He was the kindest man, a man of God, I miss him. Collapsed Friday, December 29, died Tuesday, January 2. I remembered your loving tribute to mom, and so I thought I'd just say I appreciate how you honor those you love.I love OA, but it takes a back seat to the people I love too. Glad to see you posting again :-)

MARK McDERMOTT
Member Since 2005

Posted on 1/28/2024

Michael Kenyon wrote:

�

Hey Michael,

I am very sorry to hear about your step dad. As you know, there is no training for loss in school. We think we are prepared for most of us have gone through life and lost someone close in the past, but we are usually misguided. I have found that when we lose someone we truly love, it is like we have lost part of ourselves. I know it won't help today or tomorrow, but time really does help with most wounds. Give yourself time.

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