Captain Marvel Issue 22 Page 7

Every super hero girlfriend's life has some drama. Perhaps even some danger. So what is a ex-adult film star to do? Why move to Vegas and start dating Mr. Fixit of course. He has to fix her life, it says so right in his name. But it was not meant to be so may as well marry Rick Jones. Yea, that Rick Jones. Banner-Jones. Many an awkward Thanksgiving occurred until she was murdered (dah-dah, flashing lights) by his fake mother (more dah-dahing and flashing lights occur)!!! Dah-dahing??? Sche-du-le??? Sche-dule??? Damn squirrels taking over my backyard. Martha always loved that tree. Where was I? Oh, yes. Stabbed to death, yeesh, but she gets better. Yes, I know, it's starting to sound like Days of Our Lives but I promise no demonic possessions here. Poor Marlena, but we will save that for a different posting. So what does one do when your one true love dies? Hire the Leader to bring her back to life of course. Anyone with a head that big has to be smart. Perhaps not the guy in the DC film but this is a Marvel posting. She tried a few things after the porn thing didn't work out. Lets see, reality tv show star. Didn't see that coming. Ran a comic book store. Good God!!! That's worse than the porn industry. Left Rick. Who wants to eat turkey angry? Hooks up with Moondragon. Then some Bill and Ted flip-flop time stuff. Meets future self and thinks perhaps Rick not such a bad guy after all. Rick took her back due to her previous career. The girl got skills. She can bag and board like nobodies business. Comic skills people. Mind out of the gutter. This is a Marvel, not Avatar Press. I'm fast forwarding past this storyline but you guessed it. Harpies! Who knew her sordid past would come back to haunt her. Let this be a lesson. Always double bag people. Comics! Double bag your comics! You guys are gonna get me in trouble with Bill.